Posted by: rainbowclovers | August 9, 2010

Pure Rage!

I’m going to flat out tell everyone now that this post is a RANT.

Basically, a family relative of mines is a math teacher at a pretty good high school. He has agreed to lend me a textbook so I can prepare for my math course next year. Now, I won’t lie … I hardly looked at this textbook. However, believe me or not, I did have intentions of actually prepping. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of leaving things until the last minute, and being distracted really easily.

Now, my parents have been really pushing for me to work on some of the questions. Since my math mark this year was pretty unpleasant (flat out disgusting for Asians), my parents have labeled me as “a failure in life who will still be chatting on MSN when she is 25 years old with no career”. My parents are lovely people, aren’t they? I understand that they have a point, but I refuse to believe that I will be a failure in life, and that I will actually be the type of person who accomplishes nothing within the next ten to fifteen years.

I hate that I have gone through so many years of school as one of the top students each year, and because of one setback in math, I will forever be an incompetent person. I know my parents just want me to get back to where I was before (a person who gets 90+ on every math test), but I seriously think there are better and nicer ways to put things. “You’re so lazy! Would you go do some math!? Sheesh!” is still better than “Holy f*ck! You’re so f*cking useless! Would you try and accomplish something this summer!? Shit!” Now, I’m not sure if this applies to all Asian parents, but let me tell you something: My parents don’t realize that I have feelings. Well, I stand corrected. They do know I have feelings. Here are some they know I have:
1. I’m “always” angry at the world.
2. I’m only happy when I’m able to chat on MSN with my closest friends.
3. I’m a bit celebrity-crazy (mostly for good-looking guys).

Those three things will forever make me a loser and someone who will not find a job when she’s out of school. However, I don’t think they ever realize who I really am. I spend a huge part of my days at school, and then I come home to do my homework (and surf online when I’m done) and the cycle repeats. When it’s the weekends, we go out as a family, but how much do you really get from those times?

Anyways, let’s get back to the math textbook.

So basically, there was a CD in the back of the textbook which included “The Complete Student Book in PDF Format” and “Chapter 1 Teacher’s Manual”. I knew about this CD for a long time but never mentioned it to my dad (I forgot and I didn’t think it was that important). Anyways, he came upstairs and I decided to show him. When he saw the CD, he looked like he won the lottery. “Oh my gosh! This is amazing! Put it in the computer and we can see if it works! You can do the math on the computer now! That’s so wonderful! It’d be so convenient!”

So I placed the CD in (I was happy too), but it didn’t work. Apparently, it needed certain program that was waaaaaay over dated. Aside from just the programs, it needed an operating system that normal people haven’t touched in ten years. This CD required things that I didn’t have and it also needed a Windows 95 or Windows 98. Now, I’ll skip to what happens …

Me: Oh crap. It’s not gonna work, Dad. It needs older programs to display itself.
Dad: Download them …
Me: I can’t …
Dad: Why not?
Me: Because it’s going to take up unnecessary space on my computer. Also, it needs Windows 95 or Windows 98. I don’t think I can just … download an operating system.
Dad: Well, why don’t we try this CD on the laptop downstairs? It’s Windows Vista, maybe it’ll work.
Me: It’s not going to work.
Dad: How the f*ck are you so sure?
Me: Because I just told you! I said that it requires Windows 95/98. If it isn’t working on my computer (Windows XP), it’s not going to work on a even newer model (Windows Vista).
Me: How am I just GIVING UP? I know it won’t work, so it’s stupid to bother trying.
: If you never tried, you won’t f*cking know! Is it going to f*cking kill you to just go downstairs and try!? You’re just giving up because you don’t want to do math! You’re just giving up because you want to spend on your time “playing” on the computer. (Note: He was screaming all this.)
Me: I know because I read the damn pop-ups on the computer that TOLD me that they needed an older operating system. And NO, it will not kill me to go downstairs. I never said that it was going to kill me. I simply said that it would be pointless since the CD requires something that we don’t have in this house! ALSO, I never said I wanted to waste all my time on the computer “playing”. I get distracted, but it’s not like I never intended to do the math. (Note: He raised his voice on me, I raised my voice on him.)
Dad: Don’t give me your f*cking attitude! If you don’t want to do the math, FINE! Go fail in life. Be that girl who’s 25 years old and is still sitting at home chatting online. Watch when no f*cking universities accept you! F*CK! Useless f*cking shit. (Note: He’s still screaming this. Even louder than before.)

… and then he walks to the other room, and continues to say insulting things about me to my mom.

Now, I know he just wanted me to do the math. I know he just wanted the damn CD to work.

HOWEVER, he didn’t read the pop-ups on the screen. He didn’t listen to me when I told him what was wrong. He just started yelling at me and saying I was useless when I told him in a calm voice that the CD won’t work no matter where we insert it.

If I seriously had no intention of doing the math, I would have hidden the CD. I would never have showed you it. But, I did. I showed you the CD so that you’d be happy to see that I’m showing some interest.

Also, while I’m on this topic. I hate when someone asks me “Is it going to kill you to do something?”. No, retard, it won’t KILL me. Use your brain. I just either don’t want to do it, or I can’t do it. Just because someone isn’t done, doesn’t mean that I didn’t do it because I was afraid that I was going to die from the task. Shut up.

Next; I hate that just because I told him our computers and laptops aren’t compatible with the CD, it automatically means that I have given up all hope on math. I hate that if I did give up on math, I would not be accepted into any university. I hate that if I wasn’t accepted into any university, I would be sitting on my ass at home for the rest of my life.

Please dad, as much as I love you … you need to know that sometimes … you’re a complete douche.


  1. Likewise with your site, I’ll subscribe! Thanks for subscribing to mine. 🙂 And I just read your rant. From one asian girl to another, I feel ya. And nope, all Asian parents are like that. Not just yours, haha. Hang in there. You’re not going to fail like he said, obviously. Once you get outta there, it gets better. Trust me.

    • Thanks for subscribing!
      Ahaha, I guess I’m somewhat glad that there are people out there who feel the same way. Not that I would like seeing other people angry, but it’s good people can relate.

      I sincerely don’t hope I fail, or I’d be facing some serious “I told you so”. Anyways, thanks. I hope it gets better. D;

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