Posted by: rainbowclovers | March 27, 2012

Anxious? Nervous?

I don’t know the word… but whether it’s anxiety or simply being nervous… I HATE IT.

Do you know that feeling? For example, you have a dog who’s extremely ill and you know one day, you’ll have to put it down. You know that feeling of waiting for that “one day”? It’s even worse when it’s the night before the big event and the whole thing is just killing you inside.

That example was a bit extreme. My situation isn’t nearly as bad as that, but…

So tomorrow, first period… My teacher assigned me some work to do and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel like I should be reading the section and then presenting it to the class. If that’s the case, I’m nervous because I suck at presentations and I get 10x more nervous when my classmates appear as very judgmental people (that, or I’m just insecure).

Then at lunch tomorrow, I have to help the prom committee sell t-shirts. At first, I had joined prom committee because my friend was in it and I needed to join clubs to make my University applications look good. Now, my friend is no longer an active member of the club, and applications and acceptances from university is all done. I feel obligated to stay because I made that commitment to the club/committee, but I really don’t like Prom Committee anymore. The teachers are very… unwelcoming, the members are not the people I’m closest with… so I constantly feel like a bother and I just don’t want to be in an environment where I constantly feel uncomfortable.

Then after lunch, I have a presentation in my International Business class. My teacher’s been getting a lot more strict in terms of presentations and our presentation skills. In fact, she is now making the class take part in grading the presenters (making sure we cover all the topics quickly and effectively). With my classmates on my ass, I feel very uncertain about my skills. I feel that since I don’t talk much with the class, they probably don’t like me and therefore will give me a low grade.

I don’t know…

I guess I’m just a very nervous and paranoid and insecure person.

I hate knowing that things can go wrong.

I hate it even more when I know things can go wrong and they’re coming very soon.

I constantly find myself in these situations too. Did a test and felt like I did bad. Now I’m constantly panicking about getting it back.

Had an argument with a friend. Scared they won’t talk to me tomorrow.

Has a presentation tomorrow. Piss pants now.

I need to man up, and I constantly tell myself that I will… but I can’t.



  1. yes, def. know how you feel. all i can tell you is that one day you’ll look back on these nervous days and see how ridiculous they made you feel. everyone’s worrying about their own presentation! they are so worried about their own that yours will not be big on their minds, so try to relax a bit. you’ll be fine.

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