Posted by: rainbowclovers | April 13, 2012

I have no words to express how angry you make me.

SOMETIMES, I JUST WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

That’s right, I said it. I said it. I don’t care how insolent I sound: When my dad pisses me off, I want to punch him.

I know I should respect my elders/parents, but there are really limits to how far they can push it. Even when my mom frustrates me, I would most likely never want to inflict actual harm upon her. But please understand where I’m coming from… I’m not the only person who absolutely HATES the way my dad’s attitude is. My mom hates it sometimes, his own parents hate it, his brothers probably can’t stand it, and this is honestly why he has a limited amount of friends.

Before I rant about what actually happened, let me list of some pet peeves I have of my father:

1. I hate the way he is when he is lecturing/yelling at my mom and I. It’s definitely his tone of voice and how absolutely disgusting his face turns, but this isn’t what I’m talking about. I hate the way he would insult you. You ignore it, he stops. So you think, “Oh, thank God, he’s finally done!” No, that was his 30 second break. So after 30 seconds of silence, he continues yelling at you with more degrading insults. Stops. Then continues.

2. I hate his horrible face when he’s angry and lecturing you. He literally goes from a smiling face to that of a demon. It’s rude and just makes you want to hit him more.

3. I hate how he doesn’t apologize or at least admit that he was in the wrong when he figures out he’s wrong. He’d be yelling at me… I’d prove him wrong… he gives me a dirty look and moves on. So how is it that I have to be shamed every time I’m wrong and you feel the need to constantly rub it in my face?

4. I hate his degrading insults that he spits out when he’s angry. It’s one to thing to swear and cuss. It’s another thing to question my mentality, my attitudes, my life, my intellect, and everything that can possibly be “wrong” with me.

There’s probably so much more that’s slipping my mind right now, but I’ll keep it short.

What had happened a couple days ago: So basically, I was a bit frustrated with my friend and such. I was ranting to my mom and eventually she talked me through it and I was fine again. Then my dad brought up the issue again (because he loves to hate on my friends). When he brought it up at the dinner table, my mom immediately said, “Oh, it was nothing. She’s good. I told her to just ignore the unnecessary drama.” I nodded along, and continued eating. Then my dad kept asking random questions (trying to get me angry at my friends again)  and asking me why I didn’t cuss them off. To this, I responded with, “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore! No more, no more, no moreeeeeeee ~” I didn’t at all say this in a way that sounded like I was a teenager with an attitude problem. After I said that, he goes, “Why the fuck did you bring it up then? Why didn’t you fucking cuss them off at school? What’s the point of coming home and ranting about it if you’re not going to do shit about it? Fucking stupid.”

LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL? Number one, I didn’t bring it up. You did. Number two, I don’t like confrontation. After all these years, you haven’t noticed this? Third, I ranted to mom, not you. I can rant because it relieves my stress in a way that doesn’t cause problems between my friends and I. You’re fucking stupid.

Then, as I left the table (I didn’t want to hear it anymore), he continues to insult me as I walked up the stairs. How old are you? Honestly, give it up.

What happened just now: I knew I was about to get into trouble for something. Instead of avoiding it, I confronted my dad and told him the problem. I figured that since I was being more mature about it, he would too. No. I was wrong. I got lectured for being stupid, ignorant, and everything you can think of.

Honestly, I was having a great day and you ruined it for me.

Control yourself.

I’ll be more capable of being happy when you’re able to stop being a prick.

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